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Man bangs a gong and his clothes fall off.

'I'm going to drag my sled up and down the sidewalk until the noise drives nature crazy and it snows.'

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

Future garbage truck driver.

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"Tong!"

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Artist and Musician

"I'll stop when I'm good and ready to."

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"Our kids may like your giant soundbar, but the neighbors seem to have a different opinion."

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

'You haven't heard anything yet!'

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

'I told you we should have gone wireless.'

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

Older lady to husband surrounded by dogs: 'Still getting feedback from your hearing aid?'

'I'm Bored'

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

"Threatening to call the Noise Abatement Society isn't being very romantic, Sydney."

The sounds of a tree falling in the forest.

Library Grand Opening

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

"Now that's what I call a sound system."

Tell me about the voices in your head, Al. On the one hand, they tell me to do horrible things. On the other hand, they sing the sweetest harmonies since the Mills Brothers.

A question you can't ask at a football game - 'Has anyone lost their keys?'