Resolution Reformer Gifts

'At midnight we want to move to the non-smoking section so my husband can keep his New Year's resolution.'

New Years Resolutions...Must not exploit my position to gorge on unearned wealth...

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

Make your resolutions achievable.

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

"I hate this time of year."

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

Stethoscope line.

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

"New Year's resolutions are fine, but we should really focus on squad goals."

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

My resolution this year? Getting in shape so I can lift my favorite snacks!

Civil Service Reform - Equal Justice for Briber and Bribed

Peace and Justice Return to the Joint High Commission

My New Year's resolution is to be a better person. Very noble. I want to work harder to improve the planet. What's your resolution, mom? Pretty much the same. To be a better-looking person? Hey! It's planetary cleanup. Nan's Hair and Nails.

Remember how I came in on December 31st and ordered a lardo-size fudgsicle sugarbomb mocha with butter sprinkles? Well, give me another one of those. Since it's something I originally had last year, it'll be like I had this one last year too. So it won't violate my New Year's resolution. The ancient art of Time-Shift-Fu. I'm a tenth level grand master. I studied under Moe Yin, the master who created "it's not really 'cheating' if it's with an ex."

Louis Antoine Jullien

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

Good intentions last a month on average

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

"I'm delegating my New Years Resolutions, you'll be running a marathon in July!"

"I feel like all I did in January was work out, eat healthy, strive for meaningful and balanced relationships, and improve my sleep schedule -- thank god that nightmare's over."

"Sure-fire weight loss program."

"Ah, but that wasn't a campaign promise - It was a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!"

Great ... Thanks to your "calendar" invention, now I have to think of a New Year's resolution.