Resolution Philosopher Pillows

"New Year's resolutions are sort of like politicians' campaign promises - non binding."

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

"It's all a matter of planning...."

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

"New Year's resolutions are fine, but we should really focus on squad goals."

A problem is opportunity in working clothes.

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

"We're cutting back on therapy. You?"

"My primary challenge is to strip away the hardened carapace of societal expectations..."

Dear Diary...Resolutions

'I can't read my New Year's resolutions -- I must have spilled beer on them last night.'

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

"Those image resolutions are crystal clear, but it's my New Year's resolutions that are getting pretty fuzzy."

"Well, last year I kicked gambling. . . the odds are 3 to 1 the New Year will be a good one."

Who am I kidding?

Road repair crew in denial ('Personally, I don't see a problem here.')

'Honestly you could drive a 'coach and horses' through this document, there's no definition of 'weight loss', no time frame, no sanctions.'

"This year I'm going to lose weight!"

"I'm starting my diet today."

My New Year's resolution? To come up with some resolutions for the year after next.

"If I were you, I'd put a new hairstyle way way down your list of New Year's Resolutions."

"Planning a few changed for the new year?"

New Year's Resolution - stop smoking.

'Every year, I make a New Year's resolution, but I never stick to it, and it's embarrassing when people ask me about it...this year I'm just going to lie through my teeth when people ask.'