Reserve Player Advocate Pillows

"No, I'm afraid being the reserve left back for Widdrington amative FC does not guarantee you to get one of the first testing kits."

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."

'I finished last, but I was the only one who passed the drug test.'

"And, if elected, I promise to put more black people in cartoons."

'If there's one thing I've learnt from being a good manager, it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

'How can I get mad at him for sleeping on the job? It was I who told him that taking naps was healthy.'

It's called "taking a nap," Lance, and no, I don't want to see any Rorschach inkblots.

"Gracie, if we want to see more Latinos in film, we need to support Latino films. When a movie comes out with Latino stars and Latino story, we need to go see it."

"I'm a huge fan of your work."

Stop with racism in sport!

Animal Olympics: 'What do you say next year we have some non-cheetah races?'

'How can you bear to sit around doing nothing? You're right, I think I'll have a nap.'

Free Speech has heavy price.

Beijing 2022

'Forget it, Jeb. This see-saw is broken.'

Journalist in jail

"I wasn't hibernating. I was resting my eyes."

'These are a little harsh. Why don't you take time off for some r and r and rewrite them when you're in a better mood?'

He can't come to the phone now. He's busy recharging his computer, his cell phone, himself...

"Is it me or does this taste like boogers?"

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

It's from your private medical insurance.

No Nesting

'A grass box for the children is a wonderful idea.'

Little League Registration: "Um, I think we're gonna need to see your birth certificate again, son. . ."

'How come I get two yellow cards?' - 'One for the foul and one for the instant reply.'

This place is crawling with backstabbers, but they don't worry me.

'Uh-oh, Ben's 'wired' again, I better cut down on his high protein dog food.'

'If it wasn't for Jim Jones we would have lost today. . . he's the umpire.'

People for the ethical treatment of athletes.

Kids then. . & and now.

Spain trial for rigged soccer matches

Electoral College Football