Injured Reserve Club Pillows

'You've lost a step...'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

Man with broken leg in cast.

Introverted Chair

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

"Well, one good thing about summer...is I work more hours and make a lot more money. The bad thing is...I have a lot more free time to spend it all."

Campaign 2016

'...Then touch your toes twenty times.'

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

'This time you hold the nail!'

It's from your private medical insurance.

"I hope you don't think that music while I waited soothed me."

Gamblers Anonymous: 'Betcha I recover before you do.'

"That's right, Mr. Jenkins, we rejected your membership application because you wrote your name on it..."

'Steward, this fellow hasn't spoken for a week. Be a good chap and feel his pulse will you?'

Noises from armpits.

Football taunting man with a broken leg.

'He's got tennis viewer's elbow'

Broken ankle? Blown out knee? Compound fracture? No problem! Get back on the court in a jiff with the amazing new Roller Brace!

"Don't worry, I've seen this before. In a couple of weeks you'll be a beautiful butterfly."

'He's terrified of heights.'

'I lied about my physique at the interview!!'

'Same school, old boy, fancy a drink at the club?'

"I was so busy worrying that she only loved me because of my money that I lost her AND the money!"

"No, I'm afraid being the reserve left back for Widdrington amative FC does not guarantee you to get one of the first testing kits."

'I dreamed I joined a twelve-step program.'

Misery Loves Co., Inc.

"I used to be a physician, but after being sued for malpractice I realized I was in the wrong profession!"

"That's one heck of a splinter."

Lady about 'One Date at a Time' Bumpersticker: 'He's trying to stay sober, but he's still a lady's man.'

'. . . You haven't paid your subs.'

'I'm on the list.'