Reserve Officer Pillows

"It was either us or nuclear weapons."

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

A very young man being hired as a groom.

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

'No JAMIE,you're NOT keeping any strays! Now GET rid of him and go wash up for dinner!...' / 'Sorry kiddo,i tried...'

'At ease, soldier.'

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

Family Salutes as Father Comes Home.

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the recruitment and training of new staff to replace the staff we laid off."

'Remember that promotion you were asking for last month, , ,Well, something just opened up,'

Your resume says you were a waiter...

"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"

'That's right - a restraining order. You should know mother bears are very protective of their young.'

"Did I say 'corner office'? I meant 'corner of my office'."

A Rifle Competition in the North

"Did you call for a Medic?"

'Does my bum look big in this?'

'You know the rules, private - no pets!'

'Walter isn't truly happy unless he's bombing some country.'

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making you Torque.'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

Bomb disposal officer sits at desk near workboxes: IN/ ERT.

'I had a good day. Raised everybody's blood pressure.'

At a Country House

'The really scary part is that he is the new head of human resources.'