Research Results Enthusiast T-Shirts

'This is the time when the University started to rank our research by the number of publications, not the quality of the publications...'

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

'Maybe we have the wrong subject for this brain mapping project.'

'Well, at least it has bubbles.'

'Once I got the cold fusion problem out of the way, the rest was easy!'

Peer-reviewed journal publication.

'Being a brilliant,inspiring teacher is NOT adequate, Hackwell....'

"Does he have to do that every time he gets a little grant?"

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

"No movie deals, no endorsements, no product tie-ins..."

'Dear, when I die, what ever you do, don't donate my body to science.'

"To be on the safe side, we need an independent prosecutor to check on the independent prosecutor."

"Here's the feasibility study you wanted, Chief."

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

A lab rat stares back at a scientist.

'Despite all the work that has been put into it, it's clear that the genome code is not a get-rich-quick scheme.'

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

Excessive Paperwork

'They want to close our lab. What's that all about?'

"I keep up with all the journals."

'Dr. Sykes is very important is scientific circles. We believe he may be the missing link.'

Joe's Bar and Grill and Focus Group.

Proof you've made it Loud Annoying The voices raised against you

"I opened the last Russian nesting doll, and there's a subpoena from the Mueller probe inside."

"At first it's, we'll try this and we'll try that. But when there's a medical break-through, guess who takes all the credit."

"Your research is impressive, but you have too many original ideas to be credible..."

Yakademic: An academic who has been describing their research since they were asked about it over 20 minutes ago.

'Granted we have to do the research. And we can do some research on the research. but I don't think we should get involved in research on research on research.'