Research Hobbyist T-Shirts

'Well, at least it has bubbles.'

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

Peer-reviewed journal publication.

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

'As a kid I was always taking things apart...so, anyway, that's when my parents stopped getting me pets.'

A lab rat stares back at a scientist.

'Dear, when I die, what ever you do, don't donate my body to science.'

"This says you should expect to spend six months and at least $800 building the perfect lowrider bike."

Silver Sufferer - husband looking at steam trains on the internet, wife bored in background

'Mr. Barnes has been riding his motorcycle, so he's a little behind on his paperwork. If you'll take a seat, he should be with you in a few hours.'

Casual skydiving.

Joe's Bar and Grill and Focus Group.

"I keep up with all the journals."

Man Watches Live Feed of his Aquarium on Television

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

"Your research is impressive, but you have too many original ideas to be credible..."

Person Reading For Pleasure

'Granted we have to do the research. And we can do some research on the research. but I don't think we should get involved in research on research on research.'

Yakademic: An academic who has been describing their research since they were asked about it over 20 minutes ago.

"Howard, you've met my ukulele ladies before."

Man imagines his pregnant partner as an impossible bottle.

"Yeah, I'm selling my bowling balls. Free delivery to anyone who lives downhill."

'My psychiatrist told me to take up a hobby, so I became a psychiatrist.'

"Son, you're old enough now to whittle your own condom."

"Welcome to the co-author's party! You're number twenty-one."

'I'm sick of writing grant proposals on spec.'

Sourdough starter. Mask-making supplies. Everything else

Project Supreme Fuel Efficiency

'I'm worried -- It's getting harder and harder to qualify for Federal grants!'

'There's really no need for confusion. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L clearly explains ...'