Research Results Enthusiast Gifts

'This is the time when the University started to rank our research by the number of publications, not the quality of the publications...'

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

'Maybe we have the wrong subject for this brain mapping project.'

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

'Well, at least it has bubbles.'

'Once I got the cold fusion problem out of the way, the rest was easy!'

Peer-reviewed journal publication.

'Being a brilliant,inspiring teacher is NOT adequate, Hackwell....'

"Does he have to do that every time he gets a little grant?"

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

"No movie deals, no endorsements, no product tie-ins..."

A lab rat stares back at a scientist.

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

'Despite all the work that has been put into it, it's clear that the genome code is not a get-rich-quick scheme.'

"To be on the safe side, we need an independent prosecutor to check on the independent prosecutor."

"Here's the feasibility study you wanted, Chief."

'Dear, when I die, what ever you do, don't donate my body to science.'

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

Excessive Paperwork

'Dr. Sykes is very important is scientific circles. We believe he may be the missing link.'

Proof you've made it Loud Annoying The voices raised against you

"I keep up with all the journals."

'They want to close our lab. What's that all about?'

Joe's Bar and Grill and Focus Group.

"At first it's, we'll try this and we'll try that. But when there's a medical break-through, guess who takes all the credit."

"Your research is impressive, but you have too many original ideas to be credible..."

Yakademic: An academic who has been describing their research since they were asked about it over 20 minutes ago.

'Granted we have to do the research. And we can do some research on the research. but I don't think we should get involved in research on research on research.'