Research Funding Strategist Gifts

"Do you have this grant in a bigger size?"

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

Pinara fund

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

Damn. Out of quarters again for the Pay Electron Microscope.

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to get approval from the offices of Terminology, Evidence, Proof of Demand, Documentation, Measurement and Predictions before I can even think about signing off."

'Scientists agree the universe is expanding - Mendenhall is trying to find out where the financing is coming from.'

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

"To me..It says Art Council crap regional funding"

'I want you stop referring to our grant as 'The Big Dipper.''

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

"...I want to find out whether there's any truth in the belief that money can't buy happiness."

'Agreed, 'Laplace Algebra Matrix Expansion' is a good topic, but we'd better find a better acronym if we want to secure a Research Grant...'

'These days, it's hard to tell whom to trust - T.V. news, or your social network. . .'

The Institute Of Innovative Ways To Get Government Grants.

Drachme vs Euro

Grants Office Scientific Research Section.

Don't you hate finding out that the kid you copied those test answers from is even dumber than you are.

"Crowd-funding's fantastic but the crowd-thanking is a real drag."

Software for the small businessman

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

EU money addiction

'This next song is about a close call and a near success. It's called The Grant that Got Away.'

"Formula for the new product?" "No, that's our grant going down the drain!"

Made Possible By A Grant...

'Okay, that business plan didn't work - now let's try thinking outside the box.'