Reproductive Health Professional Gifts

Ringing the Doorbell

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

"Because the 'morning after pill' is not a rectal suppository."

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

"Leapfrog is the latest craze among the kids, but experts say it contribute to declining birthrates. Find out why � after the break!"

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

IVF assessment centre.

"It's perfect for starting a family."

Everyone's Got an Opinion but No One Is Willing to Take a Chance for It

Pregnancy Test

Abortion Ban

Three Parent Baby

"So, how long have you been trying?"

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

Restrictive Abortion Laws

Fertility Center.

'And for Pete's sake, let's cut out out all this artificial insemination.'

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

'I warned you that the fertility drugs might have side effects.'

"I know, I know... But I thought he would bring down the price of eggs."

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

"Good news, hon. They defunded Planned Parenthood."

Scientific reaction to the news of declining sperm counts was mixed.

"Just for variety, Doc, next time let's insert the embryos doggy style."

'Last one in is a rotten egg.'

"What if she's not my type?"

'We can now offer you a free range egg option.'

"Whoever she is...she's one hell of an egg donor."

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

"In brief, we'll stimulate your ovaries with daily medications or hormones, perform an oocyte retrieval at the hospital, incubate the eggs in a petri dish at the laboratory, and then sit back and let nature take its course"