Reproductive Health Gifts

"I'm thinking about freezing my eggs."

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

Birth Control

"Because the 'morning after pill' is not a rectal suppository."

"You are here."

"O Vary funny."

"This building's birthday is tomorrow so I'm going to rip it down."

'Just the one, thanks.'

"That's right, fifty pounds and the pick of the litter."

Fertilisation.

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

2021

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"We've made great progress!"

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

What the Doctor Ordered

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

Lactose Intolerant

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."