Report Finisher Gifts

"Worked all weekend to finish the report, and all I get is a stupid Pat on the back."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

Pesky students.

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"Consensus on a Friday afternoon... what a lovely way to begin the weekend!"

'In a sentence or two, Gibbs.'

'This is gobbledygook. I asked for mumbo-jumbo.'

"Getting good grades isn't enough, son. You also need to bring in new clients."

"Will you stop 'tutting' until I've finished my report."

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

"Very amusing, Robertson, if I were the type to be amused."

"Here's the feasibility study you wanted, Chief."

'I'll give you this, Hargrove - Your report was a perfect blend of cliches, banalities and platitudes.'

'I would have had these reports done sooner, but someone rolled a ball with a bell inside it into my cubicle.'

"I can never seem to get my report in on time!"

Good report, Morton, work on it a little more until it sounds like one of mine.

'How long have you had that toupee?'

Congratulations for male runner

"Okay, I finished my novel. Now what?"

"...there's not a single shareholder...who will be able to understand any part of it!"

The UN Forest. . . after its latest 3000 page climate report is released.

'Overwhelm the facts with interpretation and have it on my desk Thursday.'

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

'It says here that machine learning finds fake news with 88% accuracy. I think from now on I really need to edit my reports before I turn them in.'

"We've been married so long you not only finish my sentences you start 'em too."

Man Crosses Finish Line At Heaven's Pearly Gates

'Instead of a bedtime story, I'm going to read you my company's report for the third quarter.'

"Deidre's right. 'Challenging current dynamics' sounds better than SNAFU."

"I can't find anything wrong with your report…keep rewriting it until I can."

School of Music. If you need perseverance to be a musician, what's all this I hear about unfinished symphonies?

"My French is OK but you should really see my Reportese..."

'The new boss really liked my report. He just patted me on my back!'