Report Enthusiasts T-Shirts

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

UK border controls relaxed.

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

Meet the Enemy

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

Reporter #6: television.

Idlib, Syria - The final stage

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Capital Tours

Trump Destroying U.S. the Postal Service

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

Classic News.

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

Big Newspaper Delivery

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'You've been killing files again.'

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"Anyone else see weaknesses in my report?"

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

Charades

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'