Renting First Apartment T-Shirts

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors, slip-and-fall warning, and, barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

"It's a little bit small,but it's got great cross ventilation."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

"Too bright."

A DIY disaster.

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

"Time like these make me wish we had sprung for that apartment with a park view."

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

So...this is the roommate. Awkward...

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

"Yes, 650,- euro net rent is a pretty good price and it's a very nice house... By the way, I'm talkins about this house, sir."

Painting the ceiling with a paint roller attached to an umbrella.

"Full central heating and hardwood floors throughout, the flat also benefits from being close to all major transport routes."

'...and the property comes with a fully fitted kitchen'

"Think of it -- you'd never have to fold another shirt."

"It's a nice unit, but there may be a faint odor from the last tenant..." "Yeah, enough to make you faint."

"Dear, your father and I were thinking that maybe it's time you got a place of your own."

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

"Everyone seems to be having no trouble assembling our products. Apparently, we're making our instructions too easy."

"When you pay the rent for your one-room studio, you mustn't think about what you can get for that amount back in Iowa."

Life Cycle of a Tower Block

"He huffed and he puffed and he increased our rent."

'Hi, this is Wilbur Gurkenman, your real estate agent! I've found a single room apartment I think you can afford...'

'A cheap single room for a lodger, close to the city, quiet, easy to clean... here you are, sir!'

'I can't find my key.'

"We love the view. It helps to remind us that we're part of a larger community."

Generation Rend. Young man rending his garments in anguish at extortionate rents.

Kit-set shelving. Third attempt.

'Well, at least the landlord can't complain about a flat fish!'