Renting A New Home Gifts

Shoe for Rent

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“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Doing the borders.

Second hand furniture.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Yardless: Please help

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

Lazy Octopus

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

'He does lack social skills.'

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

Cat statues on entrance gate

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

The Not-So Smart Meter