Renting A House Pillows

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

' I gather you wish to reassign your lease, Higgins.'

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

'Yeah, strictly speaking it's a hole, but I prefer to think of it as a bijou hole.'

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

Tenants Wanted: "We're in luck, boys!"

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

House hunting is cruel.

"I need an apartment just big enough for a laptop, a coffee cup, and me."

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

"I used to live here. Now I make a fortune renting it out on Airbnb."

"Sorry son, I rented out your room to backpackers on Airbnb."

"Full central heating and hardwood floors throughout, the flat also benefits from being close to all major transport routes."

"It's a little bit small,but it's got great cross ventilation."

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

"It's a nice unit, but there may be a faint odor from the last tenant..." "Yeah, enough to make you faint."

"When you pay the rent for your one-room studio, you mustn't think about what you can get for that amount back in Iowa."

'I always thought Facebook was the perfect roommate...Until the rent came due.'

"The previous tenant has gone away for a very long time."

We divided it up and turned it into a rental.

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

The lessor of two evils.

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

"Five more minutes, I was dreaming our apartment was rent-controlled."

"It's a new rent concept - fifteen minutes for a quarter."

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors, slip-and-fall warning, and, barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'I'm presuming by the amount of rent you're asking for, it includes a full-time butler, maid and gardening staff!'

"He huffed and he puffed and he increased our rent."

Tenants and Landlords - 'Are we nearly there? ...'

"He's moving out when he's saved up enough for a deposit on a flat."

Generation Rend. Young man rending his garments in anguish at extortionate rents.

Leonard Cohen calls his landlord

Shoe for Rent