Renter At Heart Pillows

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

House hunting is cruel.

"I need an apartment just big enough for a laptop, a coffee cup, and me."

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

"Five more minutes, I was dreaming our apartment was rent-controlled."

The lessor of two evils.

"It's a new rent concept - fifteen minutes for a quarter."

"The previous tenant has gone away for a very long time."

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors, slip-and-fall warning, and, barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'I'm presuming by the amount of rent you're asking for, it includes a full-time butler, maid and gardening staff!'

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

"He's moving out when he's saved up enough for a deposit on a flat."

"Well, thank God it's not the plumbing! Let's run down town, drop off a check and sign that lease!!"

"Considering the rental market, this property offers a fantastic view, and they'll drop the restrictions."

Tenants and Landlords - 'Are we nearly there? ...'

"If this is a bit beyond your budget then I've got a shoebox coming available next week!"

"It's true that the basement's flooded, but it's stocked."

Generation Rend. Young man rending his garments in anguish at extortionate rents.

Leonard Cohen calls his landlord

Landlord holding back a tennant from his money: 'It's all part of the service!'

'Am I safe in assuming that your requirements do not include a formal dining room?'

"Look! It's the Buy-to-let brigade."

"For a 2 bed will need a guarantor, you don't by any chance know Jeff Bezos do you?"