Renovation Specialist Gifts

'Do you suppose we'll ever qualify for 'Total Island Makeover'?'

"I never heard of a kitchen renovation, either, that was not followed by a divorce."

Painting by the numbers for adults

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

Painting the Ceiling

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

'I found the termites!'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

'And when you're done here honey, I have a nice periwinkle picked out for the foyer!'

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

' ... and this is the half bath.'

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

"If you can successfully complete a building permit for your home renovation, you win a prize!"

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

'Mary, I believe in historic preservation, too, but ... '

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

The Old Woman was thrilled to bits with her shoestring budget makeover!!

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

"Our hobby is finding old, run-down Victorian houses and levelling them."