Remodeling Professional Gifts

Punctual at First Remodeling Contractor

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

We're putting on a subtraction.

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

Over 50 shades of grey available.

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

"Hang on- I'm receiving a textured message."

DIY information - 'Here you are - look it up yourself.'

"Here's another can. Try not to step in this one."

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"There's nothing like new carpeting to freshen up a place, I say."

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

Home Maintenance - Decorating.

"I told you you'd made that cat flap too big."

Super glue . . .

'We could either give you a $50,000 home improvement loan, or $2,000 to just blow your house up.'

"The latest news on the gardening fashion front is 'Ditch the decking'!"

"Yeah, I'm just here for winter break. I'm staying with my aunt Maria. She lives down the block."

"I remodelled, but I left it so that when danger threatens I can still take refuge in the redoubt."

"Be honest...did you actually get any paint on the living room walls?"

Employment Dept. Fill Out Job Applications Here. This application form has too much space for "work experience" and not enough for "leisure activities."

"What do you have that's bigger than 'king'?"

'... And with a little imagination, the workshop and reindeer stables could easily be converted into additional bedrooms.'

"The distressed-style wood flooring we installed in the kitchen seems to have crept into Fred!"

'I said shag carpeting.'

Snail with lots of shells says: 'I've extended as far as possible, so there was nowhere to go but down.'

'Hi-vis honey I'm home!'

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."