Renovation Ranger Gifts

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'I found the termites!'

Non-Drip ?

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

A holiday at home

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

"If you can successfully complete a building permit for your home renovation, you win a prize!"

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Mary, I believe in historic preservation, too, but ... '

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

Paint/Paint Remover, Glue/Glue Remover...

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

The Old Woman was thrilled to bits with her shoestring budget makeover!!

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

"We can't agree on our kitchen redesign."

A cock up of builders

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

Witch Hardware

"Our hobby is finding old, run-down Victorian houses and levelling them."

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"I'll never understand wallpaper."

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

Organized chaos.