Renovation Ranger Gifts

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'I found the termites!'

Non-Drip ?

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

A holiday at home

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

"If you can successfully complete a building permit for your home renovation, you win a prize!"

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Mary, I believe in historic preservation, too, but ... '

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

Paint/Paint Remover, Glue/Glue Remover...

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

The Old Woman was thrilled to bits with her shoestring budget makeover!!

A cock up of builders

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

Witch Hardware

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

"We can't agree on our kitchen redesign."

"Our hobby is finding old, run-down Victorian houses and levelling them."

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

"I'll never understand wallpaper."

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

Organized chaos.