Renovation Observer Gifts

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Two airplanes

"He's only an associate but he's already reaping at a partner's level."

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

Dark Clouds

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

Bat

"But the weather looks great for the rest of the week."

"You didn't post anything on social media today. So, the church sent someone over to witness miracle."

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

'I like it!'

"Fake."

"Good lord! Four of my dearest Facebook friends died last week!"

'I can't believe it. Wagner just must be better than he sounds!'

'Maybe it's one of those super-stations.'

'I can hear the highway.'

"It's 6 o'clock. Do you know what's trending now?"

"Worst-case scenario? The renovation goes three years and two million dollars over budget, one of you bludgeons me to death with my own hammer, and you both get the electric chair."

Modeste Mussorgsky.

"He's so posh...!"

Waiting and waiting and waiting room

'You've heard of a couch potato? Well he's a mouse potato.'

Toll Booths Ahead, Radar Detection Area, Construction Ahead, No Rest Stops for 200 Miles, Severe Potholes Ahead.

'If it were my house I'd put it on life support.'

"One minute I was Chairman and Chief Executive of Mammon Industries, the next I'm the gallbladder in room 405."

Builders

"Your twitter account is phenomenal. Each tweet is limited to 140 characters, but it seems much longer."

Totem pole.

'What's it like being number 400 I know at 399 it's pretty cool and prestigious to be part of the 300s,'

"Show-off!"