Renovation Observer Gifts

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Two airplanes

"He's only an associate but he's already reaping at a partner's level."

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

Dark Clouds

Bat

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

"But the weather looks great for the rest of the week."

"You didn't post anything on social media today. So, the church sent someone over to witness miracle."

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

'I like it!'

"Fake."

If a tweet is sent out and no one signs up to read it, does it exist? Happens millions of times a day.

"Good lord! Four of my dearest Facebook friends died last week!"

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Fed up in Flint," you're on. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! House of Java.net Cybercafe. I bought a dirt-cheap house in Flint, hoping to rent it out. I had it renovated, and then the day before our open-house, someone broke in and stole all our plumbing. So what?! In my day, nobody had plumbing! We did our business in a ditch down by the river and we were glad about it! List it as "vintage Americana" and quit yer complainin'! But they took the roof, too. In my day, a roof

"The equities markets loves me, the equities markets love me not. . ."

'Maybe it's one of those super-stations.'

'I can't believe it. Wagner just must be better than he sounds!'

"It's 6 o'clock. Do you know what's trending now?"

'I can hear the highway.'

"Worst-case scenario? The renovation goes three years and two million dollars over budget, one of you bludgeons me to death with my own hammer, and you both get the electric chair."

Modeste Mussorgsky.

"He's so posh...!"

Waiting and waiting and waiting room

'You've heard of a couch potato? Well he's a mouse potato.'

'If it were my house I'd put it on life support.'

"One minute I was Chairman and Chief Executive of Mammon Industries, the next I'm the gallbladder in room 405."

Toll Booths Ahead, Radar Detection Area, Construction Ahead, No Rest Stops for 200 Miles, Severe Potholes Ahead.

Totem pole.

"Your twitter account is phenomenal. Each tweet is limited to 140 characters, but it seems much longer."

Builders

'What's it like being number 400 I know at 399 it's pretty cool and prestigious to be part of the 300s,'