Renaissance Fair Regular Gifts

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

Face painting by numbers.

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'None shall pass!'

Knight with paint tin on his head.

"When you tell your Father how you're dropping out of college to be a renaissance faire entertainer, the least you could do is break character."

The interminable!

'...Hmm...just like the real thing.'

"Those tights pinch and chaff. We're going commando."

'I didn't even know the carnival was in town!'

"Sir George! How did it go with your jousting competition at the Renaissance Fair?"

Knight Supplies

Medieval Page Boy

"You're probably hot and I've gone on too long so I'll end with a story of the great pestilence."

"I'm feeling generous."

'The neighbors called to complain about your armor squeaking again.'

Garrick as Richard 3rd.

"Iowa is super diverse. We have hot dogs, corn dogs, cheese dogs, chili cheese dogs..."

Face Painting.

Driver indicating right turn on dodgems.

"To be honest, we're scared you might scare the living daylights out of the ghosts."

State Fair. Fun. You won a ribbon in the eating contest? What for? Honorable munchin'!

'Whatever you do, don't ride the 'Twister'.'

We're fine, although I think Bob may be going through a middle-ages crisis.

Ye Olde Barbecue Tonight

'Why did you ask him if all the boats are fitted with stabilisers?'

Invitation

Feather Tickle

"You just can't let yourself go, can you!?"

'Well I don't see any white dots. . . However there are tiny devils in your throat poking your tonsils.'

'Wow, Frank - he nailed it!'

Tunnel of Quickies