Renaissance Fair Attendee Gifts

'Honestly, what the heck are we wearing?'

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

tnl of lv

"Oh goody! It's just like the Columbian Exposition of 1893."

'None shall pass!'

Knight with paint tin on his head.

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

Children watching a horse show from under the tent

Prune Eating Contest: Last Man Standing.

Knight Supplies

Hit a duck, win a prize.

"Sir George! How did it go with your jousting competition at the Renaissance Fair?"

"Daisy, Daisy, I've seen the farmer filling in the forms: We're going to the Agricultural Show!"

Medieval Page Boy

"Those tights pinch and chaff. We're going commando."

"You're probably hot and I've gone on too long so I'll end with a story of the great pestilence."

Garrick as Richard 3rd.

'The neighbors called to complain about your armor squeaking again.'

"Iowa is super diverse. We have hot dogs, corn dogs, cheese dogs, chili cheese dogs..."

Face Painting.

'Oh no, the Gradwells are here with their homemade wine!'

We're fine, although I think Bob may be going through a middle-ages crisis.

Ye Olde Barbecue Tonight

State Fair. Fun. You won a ribbon in the eating contest? What for? Honorable munchin'!

Feather Tickle

Invitation

Homemade Jam.

'Well I don't see any white dots. . . However there are tiny devils in your throat poking your tonsils.'

Medieval Page

Will spell your name

'I have a lot of issues with chafing.'

Of course I looked in the closet and under the bed.

Things at the state fair that can give you heartburn...