Remote Rover Pillows

"Thank you for your e-mail. I will be out on a walk for the next twenty minutes and plan on barking remotely until my return."

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

Halfway across the Hudson River Billy Joe realized he wasn't going to Elvis Island.

Fish talking about fisherman

Couple of Pikeys.

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

The virtual wine tasting was a big success

Good boy

Walking the Plank.

"You're absolutely sure my wife won't be able to find this?"

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

"Now that she works from home we never get to use the computer."

'Attention!! All hands on deck!'

"We've lost the remote."

'Thanks for tuning in - we'll try to pander to you.'

Man struggling to carry a giant tv remote control with hundreds of channels.

'The tales I could tell, sonny... I've marked my way across 7 continents, from the Kelly green hydrants of Belfast to the salty yellow curbs of old Shanghai...'

"Thanks for walking me home."

"There's the remote!"

'I wish someone would finally make that Oprah Winfrey shush! I would but I can't find the remote.'

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.

'I don't feel at home on the range any more!'

'Isn't it how you learnt to swim?'

"Delivery."

Pirates

A patient's heart monitor reveals he is thinking about fish.

Two Pints Today Please.

"I'm sorry but the bubbles make me giggle."

"When I said let's scuttle her. I meant that ship over there."

'That's the guy - lives on a 'narrow boat!'

'D'you moisturise?'

'I watch shows I don't like because I can't find the remote.'