Remote Detective Gifts

'I had laser eye surgery and I still can't find the remote.'

"Who says there's no magic in our marriage? Isn't the TV remote constantly disappearing?"

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

Computer Expert

Where was I?

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

Terry had a computer bug.

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

Alternative Medicine

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

Clickbait

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

The new Physics

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

"Prove you're not a human Select the squares with a bike Skip"

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'