Remote Connoisseur Pillows

"You need to lose some weight. Go and see if you can find the remote control."

"We evolved from asteroids"

"JB wears many hats. He just can't delegate"

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Of pitting his own wits against their natural cunning

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

TV: widescreen 16x9 versus 4x3.

"I'm a huge proponent of control over speed."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.

When the accounts department took the stationary cupboard Bob decided to book the Conflict Management course.

Moliere

Scientist drinking night sky through telescope

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

Charles Dickens.

C Day Lewis.

Coming Soon! Taco Sphere

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Bleak House

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

"It's too good. I think it's going to be a forgery, not just a copy."

"If I can control everyone around me it would help my damaged self esteem."

'Must...find...something...intelligent..!'

Do you know what the interest on you adjustable-rate mortgage is?

"This wasn't me, it was the bottle talking."

'How many times I gotta tell you? Don't pay any attention to which camera has the red light on!'

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

Sergei Rachmaninov

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

Apple TV+

'I've gone from watching movies in Cinemascope to a smart phone...and they call this progress?'

"You'd better not be thinking about using that remote during my show!"