Reluctant Hero Pillows

"This could be a job for....Slothman. Nahhh."

"The civic league agreed to honor him as a pillar of the community, with the stipulation that he's not a load-bearing one."

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'I had a great year and I wasn't even trying.'

'Not for what I'm getting paid!'

'...I don't want people to get the impression that I'm so passionate about my work that I'll be taking it with me!...'

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

'Liquor will solve this problem, chief!'

"She stood me up. I hosed off my Crocs for nothing."

'Derek's a big fan of resisistance workouts. He always resists working out.'

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

"You're going to the Partner's Social whether you like it or not!"

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this committee.'

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

Hunting - Man asked to go hunting by his wife

"My art speaks for itself."

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

Three Pointless Things to Do This Week: Break into a sweat/Search for the Hero Inside Yourself/Toy with the Idea of Leaving Your Husband or Wife.

'You can't do this to me, Arlene! -- I'm not the outdoorsy TYPE!'

'I'm home from a mind-numbing day at the office, ready to watch some mind-numbing TV.'

"The long wait for greatness to be thrust upon one."

"Every year it's the same story...dangerous situations. Slippery slopes. Inescapable traps. Horrible creatures. But I trudge forward because no matter what...it's hard to avoid the first day of school."

"I didn't go to work today. I gathered firewood instead."

"Gifts like this ought to keep me humble."

"Do I love myself or is it lust?"

'He loves all sports, he can sit and watch others do it all day.'

'Living together might work out, Randy, but I could never comply with a whole MARRIAGE!'

This week, House Manager Blowviatt has been asked to avoid the appearance of playing to the cameras.

"Sorry, I can't make it tonight - I have too good a parking sport."

Trying to get kids into sports

"For Christ's sake, Bob, tuck your shirt in."

'What? You mean I ran all the way here and got all that exercise for nothing?'

"The doctor said jogging would 'add ten years to your life...' He was right - I feel ten years older...!!"

"Baldo, I need you to take this out to the dumpster."