Reluctant Caretaker Gifts

'I'm glad she's relaxed, but I'm pretty stressed out.'

Golfing Boss

'What do you mean I don't take time to smell the flowers?'

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

Egg Buggy

"The holidays are finished George, get over it!"

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

Mental To-Do List

'...I don't want people to get the impression that I'm so passionate about my work that I'll be taking it with me!...'

'It's only temporary until we can find a good home for the cats.'

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

John was bck from extended leave, but he hadn't quite got in the swing of things yet.

Stop staring at that screen saver!

'Liquor will solve this problem, chief!'

"I'm training him to do chores."

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this committee.'

'Dad, do you really think trying to sell me life insurance counts as quality time?'

"Should I fix it or call it a water feature?"

'I'm too old to be a grandfather!'

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

"The boss is on a working vacation and we're on a nonworking vacation."

'Dang it Sharif, I told you we shouldn't built the jacuzzi on an ancient bee burial ground.'

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

"My physical therapist says this is the worst possible position you can lie in."

Burning the midnight oil again?

"No need to rush back to work. The office lad is doing your job."

"I can catch up with all the chores my wife wants done over the Labor Day weekend."

"For Christ's sake, Bob, tuck your shirt in."

"Honey, I really admire your dedication to your practice, but we need to talk about how much of your work you bring home with you."

"Baldo, I need you to take this out to the dumpster."

'I was placed under house arrest for not doing housework.'

"John's never been a fan of the static caravan."

Knowing that he was holding yesterday's 7 million lottery ticket,,,

'Relax Bob. You're among friends.'

"I really should call my mother — I just don’t want to talk to her."