Reluctant Caller Gifts

"I really should call my mother — I just don’t want to talk to her."

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"The holidays are finished George, get over it!"

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'...I don't want people to get the impression that I'm so passionate about my work that I'll be taking it with me!...'

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

John was bck from extended leave, but he hadn't quite got in the swing of things yet.

Stop staring at that screen saver!

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

Airline concerns.

I just don't trust those self-flying brooms yet.

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

"My art speaks for itself."

"The boss is on a working vacation and we're on a nonworking vacation."

'You were talking in your sleep again.'

"Let's go somewhere fun and not really experience it."

"Oh, how I ...give me a push... hate Mondays."

"My physical therapist says this is the worst possible position you can lie in."

Travel Agents - Water, water, anywhere with water.

The Imperfect Hostess

'We don't want to give the presentation. We don't know that much stuff.'

This week, House Manager Blowviatt has been asked to avoid the appearance of playing to the cameras.

"Say, Honey, I forgot to tell you that the Snootmyers called...they'll be over for drinks in twenty minutes!"

"We just weren't compatible.Her body-clock was telling her to settle down and have kids,and mine was telling me that the pub was open."

"For Christ's sake, Bob, tuck your shirt in."

Knowing that he was holding yesterday's 7 million lottery ticket,,,

"Baldo, I need you to take this out to the dumpster."

Armstrong, I've worked here for a long time and I think I deserve a raise. How about it? I'll give you an Indian Ocean raise, minion. How does an Indian Ocean raise of $2 an hour sound? Fun fact: The Indiana Ocean's on the opposite side of the world, so its "up" is our "down." I don't think that's how "up" works, boss. "Relativity" is just a theory.

'The good news is, I've got no more trouble with my stupid boss and grumbling customers. The bad news is, our company is insolvent and I'm jobless.'

"Dr. Garcia is ordering to make a lot of changes in my life."

'I love Saturdays. . . why couldn't this happen on Monday and ruin a work day?'

"Maybe next week when I'm feeling a little better."

Quite by accident one football hater kicked the ball to the other football hater, who kicked it back again...