Relocation To Texas T-Shirts

"We do everything big in Texas."

The fate of the emigrant

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

You are here.

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

'WOW! This ladies' nav app is fantastic!'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

While You Were Out: We Moved!

"This city is becoming unlivable."

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

Oh boy, lucky you were there: I was cramping up. I need a few minutes rest if you don't mind...

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

Emigrating to France.

"I found the perfect job! You don't do any work, stay at home, make funny videos, and you get full salary and benefits!!"

'Old mother hubbard -- your cupboard is now bare.'

"My family argues so much over living in the city or country that it makes me feel like pulled pork."

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

The Near Outback: Lenny and Samantha

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

'I should've never sold my truck when I moved to the city.'

Madison Avenue and Maple Street