Relocating To The Coast T-Shirts

"I moved to the coast to get away from the Inland Revenue..."

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"That’s great, but where’s the Frisbee?!"

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

Walkers

While You Were Out: We Moved!

"This city is becoming unlivable."

"See, dear, it's only an owl hooting...."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

'Old mother hubbard -- your cupboard is now bare.'

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

"Today's numbers. . . seashells up one, lobsters up three, claims down one, mussels up one . . ."

"My family argues so much over living in the city or country that it makes me feel like pulled pork."

How Relaxing It Is To Go To The Beach. . . How Close You Live To The Beach.

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

Madison Avenue and Maple Street

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

Animal immigration

"Did you remember the extra krill and anchovies?"

'Well, shoot. Now Uncle Hector's caught in the ice! It's enough to make you want to move to Florida.'

Giraffe looking out of a lighthouse.

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

'Polly doesn't want a cracker, Polly wants a condo in Florida.'

On today's Ask Sadie Radio Hour, we discuss one topic: the constant flirtation with fleeing to Canada. Canada has universal health insurance, far fewer killings, much less bigotry, more social mobility, better schools, less obesity, 50 weeks maternity leave, blah blah blah. But that means nothing, because you know what they don't have? Panicky media telling you who to blame for the sky falling! We'll be back, after this message from Depends Undergarments.

Lighthouse

Nest building

Welcome to Ontario...yoo-oo-ooo-ooo- are here!

A lighthouse with a welcome mat

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

Wolf Watching the Sunset

"You can pack this back up now."

Damp? Only when the tide is very, very high.