Religious Satire Fan Pillows

A surprise in heaven

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'The Bishop called - he'd like to see a copy of that sermon you gave last Sunday.'

"Or,if you prefer, I also have lox and bagels."

'Let me get this straight... God wants me to let him save me from what he will do to me if I don't let him save me?'

Noah's Ark 2

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Shopping vouchers? Is that all you got him?"

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

'Them things with wings...witches,obvious witches...'

'Ok, just look natural if you want this to work.'

Hell: Been there, done that, got the sweatshirt.

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

Jesus Suddenly Realizes It's Almost Father's Day

'The diagnostic computer thinks it's a punishment from God.'

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Moral Outrage.

'We're giving you one big present for your birthday and Christmas.'

'Whose idea was it to add the brimstone?'

'No - he doesn't do p*nis enlargements!'

"Once a sinner, always a sinner!"

"Dude....I just came back from the dead! I need a coffee, not a bloody chocolate egg!"

Pope Benedict - Big Changes.

'A plastic Jesus in here has cut pilfering by 90%!'

"... So now Noah's running around grabbing two of each animal in sight! What a nut!"

"What do you mean you can't take him?"

"Oh my God, we forgot to bring the animals."

"Sorry. I forgot which religion I was pretending to respect."

"I need to see the Father."

"Want to see my collection of impure thoughts?"

"Kinky."

"Sir, booing the Pastor is not allowed."

"Where are the green cones? We're not all Protestants, you know."

"Eve had a good sense of humor. She took a lot of ribbing on the job."

"What a great job! Where else can you work 6 days, rest on the 7th and sit back to watch the whole thing go to hell?"