Religious Minister Pillows

"I propose the three of us close our eyes and observe a moment of silence. During that time, we will allow your god to speak for himself... I predict his voice will sound like a door slam."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

God Sneezes Out Creation

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Night-time halo

Golfing Bishop.

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

At the 2021 Religious Games

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"All we have left is standing room only."

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

Priest

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

Cleric with bible briefcase.

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

A child interrupting family prayers

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

Ten Commandments

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Monk Prompt

St. Elmo's fired.