Religious Dietary Explorer Gifts

"No ham in this, I hope?"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

Before/After

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

Anti-inflammation recipes

International House of Excrement

The joy of sects.

Holy Macaroni,

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

'New Barbeque.'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

Nutritional Supplements.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

'Psst, buddy -- Apocrypha!'

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

"Just my luck."

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

Religion & Economics.

"Cardiac day patients?"

'If it's all the same to you, we'd prefer not to get involved.'

Je-Hereford's Witnesses

'The good news is that our latest diet products work fabulously well. The bad news is that we haven't got any customers any more!'

'I don't care if we mostly eat protein - on a hot day like this I have a craving for ice cream.'

"Hey guys, I'm thinking about going vegetarian."

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

"We've gone glutton-free."

Vicar losing his place in the sermon.