Religious Dietary Explorer Gifts

"No ham in this, I hope?"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

Before/After

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

The World's Biggest Book Club

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

Anti-inflammation recipes

The joy of sects.

International House of Excrement

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

'New Barbeque.'

Holy Macaroni,

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

Nutritional Supplements.

'Psst, buddy -- Apocrypha!'

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

Religion & Economics.

"Just my luck."

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

"Cardiac day patients?"

'If it's all the same to you, we'd prefer not to get involved.'

Je-Hereford's Witnesses

'I don't care if we mostly eat protein - on a hot day like this I have a craving for ice cream.'

"We've gone glutton-free."

'The good news is that our latest diet products work fabulously well. The bad news is that we haven't got any customers any more!'

"Hey guys, I'm thinking about going vegetarian."

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'