Dietary Identity Explorer Gifts

"I'm a vegetarian who eats meat."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

Secretive Weigh In.

Critisize your weight.

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

'Diet considerations.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

Attack of the 'health' foods

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

"Frankly, dear, I think you've been on this paleo diet much too long!"

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

"Hmm...any dietary restrictions?"