Religion Rebels Gifts

Priest disrobes, underneath his body is covered in tattoos.

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

"Do you see what you are doing to your mother?"

Workers' Rights

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

'You, of all people, violating the speed limit!'

Office of Lyrics You Can't Understand

John Wycliffe

'You may be serving Him up there, but don't forget...I'm boss down here.'

"The art class look - oh, you mean flung shui?"

"Due to a breakdown in communication, 'Nilla Wafers' will be used for the communion service."

"Why did you become a crusader? You don't even go to church."

'He always breaks away from the Church on Sunday mornings.'

Cluster Catastrophe

'The big guy wants to see you.'

'How about some beef stew? -- the wusses from the Health Department made us discontinue the chili.'

Nine Lives Matter

BLESS YOU

"It's great that you both enjoy live music, but who are you and how did you get in our garage?"

An anarchist angel wearing his halo as a hoop earring,

"Every piece of paper you see is here for a reason: I haven't thrown it away."

'Everyone has their purpose in God's plan my son. Yours is to be a pain in the arse.'

To an observer approaching the speed of light, Einstein and his surroundings appear to be tall and thin.

'Watson either does a great deal of work or makes a lot of errors.'

"My client was a violent felon, Your Honor, but that was before he found Law."

Adam and Adam

God Rules OK.

'Of course, I sometimes regret the tattoos a bit...'

Thankyou for choosing our automated service - for venial sins, press one...'

"Sorry. We're strictly store-goers."

'Sorry God, I think you got the wrong guy, I like sex, drugs and rock and roll.'