Religion Discussions Pillows

"The necessity of humans to convince others that your god exists proves that he doesn't."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"Nonsense - we're far less religious than you are."

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

Corruption trial in the Vatican

'If it's all the same to you, we'd prefer not to get involved.'

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

If there were no religion...s

'Doesn't this 'chosen people' thing sound a little nepotistic?'

Actual Results May Vary

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

Carl thought Jesus was the answer...

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

"Any church that requires a fire hydrant is admitting it's a fraud."

Basic Theology

"Let's face it - if your god existed, I'd been struck dead long ago for mocking her."

God is dead.

"The Bible does not say that!... And if it does, it's taken out of context!... And if it isn't, it's just a metaphor!... And if it's not, it's not a big deal!... And if it is, then that's just how things were done back then!... And if... er... shut up

"If I were your god, I'd have fact-checked this mess before publishing."

"KJV, NIV, ESV, NKJV, how about just God's word."

'I wasn't created by evolution or by an intelligent being. I was created by the cartoonist that drew this cartoon.'

"My Bible's bigger than your Bible..."

"Heel! I said heel!"

"Hi there! - Would you mind if I come in and talk about the Devil..?"