Religion Discussion Pillows

'Religion is a big help whenever I have doubts about my homophobia.'

"Any church that requires a fire hydrant is admitting it's a fraud."

If there were no religion...s

"I don't believe in religion, but I'm in awe of it. Scribble some stories, fabricate a few relics, exploit people's fears... What do you get?... Money... Power... ...And all the children you'd care to molest."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"Nonsense - we're far less religious than you are."

Corruption trial in the Vatican

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

'If it's all the same to you, we'd prefer not to get involved.'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

'Doesn't this 'chosen people' thing sound a little nepotistic?'

Actual Results May Vary

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

Carl thought Jesus was the answer...

Basic Theology

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

"Let's face it - if your god existed, I'd been struck dead long ago for mocking her."

God is dead.

"If I were your god, I'd have fact-checked this mess before publishing."

"The Bible does not say that!... And if it does, it's taken out of context!... And if it isn't, it's just a metaphor!... And if it's not, it's not a big deal!... And if it is, then that's just how things were done back then!... And if... er... shut up

"You sure are a passionate defender of what you imagine the bible says."

"Hi there! - Would you mind if I come in and talk about the Devil..?"

"KJV, NIV, ESV, NKJV, how about just God's word."

"My Bible's bigger than your Bible..."

'I wasn't created by evolution or by an intelligent being. I was created by the cartoonist that drew this cartoon.'

"Heel! I said heel!"

Bertrand Russell.

'According to every religion, I'm going to hell. Except for Hinduism. But that's only because they don't believe in hell.'