Religious Debate Pillows

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"Religion gives us a reason to go to war to prove how much we love peace."

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

Corruption trial in the Vatican

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'If it's all the same to you, we'd prefer not to get involved.'

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

'Doesn't this 'chosen people' thing sound a little nepotistic?'

If there were no religion...s

"And lo, we made God in our own image.."

Actual Results May Vary

Basic Theology

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

"Any church that requires a fire hydrant is admitting it's a fraud."

God is dead.

"Let's face it - if your god existed, I'd been struck dead long ago for mocking her."

"If I were your god, I'd have fact-checked this mess before publishing."

"The Bible does not say that!... And if it does, it's taken out of context!... And if it isn't, it's just a metaphor!... And if it's not, it's not a big deal!... And if it is, then that's just how things were done back then!... And if... er... shut up

"Of course I believe in tithing, I'm just easing into it."

"My Bible's bigger than your Bible..."

Bertrand Russell.

'According to every religion, I'm going to hell. Except for Hinduism. But that's only because they don't believe in hell.'

Conservative God vs liberal God on heaven and hell.

"If I behaved like your god, I'd be arrested."