Religion Critics Pillows

'These are our 'problems emeritus'.'

"Only religious people kill witches because only religious people are stupid enough to believe in witches."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

Does Christianity have the monopoly on morality?

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

'I'll decide what I forbid, okay?'

"Eventually the leaders of every religion say 'We spoke to God and he wants you to give us money.' ...Every. Single. One."

"I have to confess a sin, Preacher. I went premarital shopping."

Obey the Book or be damned!

"Daddy says God created Eve out of Adam´s spare credit card!"

Tickets being sold for the Fun House and the Religious Fundamentalist House,

If there were no religion...s

"Easter and Halloween are my two favorite zombie-related holidays."

"They're really more like a bucket list."

Trump Bible photo op

'Fourteenth century church, fourteenth century views.'

If Adam and Eve were Baptist.

Priest to congregation, "I'm no different to you just because I wear a dog collar."

"So I'll have to believe it so see it?"

"Your homocysteine chapel levels are right off the charts."

"And Lord, let not thy laws apply to me, your loyal servant, but only to those miserable sinners whose souls we endeavor to save when it suits us."