Religion Critics Pillows

Occupy God's Vacuum

'These are our 'problems emeritus'.'

"Only religious people kill witches because only religious people are stupid enough to believe in witches."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

How James and John became known as "Sons of Thunder".

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

A Man of Faith

Does Christianity have the monopoly on morality?

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

"Eventually the leaders of every religion say 'We spoke to God and he wants you to give us money.' ...Every. Single. One."

'I'll decide what I forbid, okay?'

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

Worst. God. Ever.

"Daddy says God created Eve out of Adam´s spare credit card!"

You're too enamored of wealth, Al. As it says in the Bible, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle that for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Is that a regular Camel, or does it have a filter tip?

"I have to confess a sin, Preacher. I went premarital shopping."

Trump Bible photo op

If there were no religion...s

"Easter and Halloween are my two favorite zombie-related holidays."

Tickets being sold for the Fun House and the Religious Fundamentalist House,

"They're really more like a bucket list."

'Fourteenth century church, fourteenth century views.'

Obey the Book or be damned!

If Adam and Eve were Baptist.

"So I'll have to believe it so see it?"