Relay Devotee Gifts

The Olympic Torch.

Suffrage - Franchise for Females

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

Relay runners passing pictures to each other.

"Trust me, you don't want this job."

Poetry Buff.

"...And please let the merger do through!"

Bank of Cyprus-sia

'I'm stressed: My dad was a champion, my mum was a champion, there's a lot of pressure on me to become a champion...'

Post-psychoanalysis

'My best friend threw her bouquet to me at her wedding, and I ATE it!'

As years of unspoken tension surfaced, Trunky refused to raise his hand like a coward.

I'd like to order a power outage. Huh? My wife's on her phone all day, my son plays video games nonstop. My boss finds me by email wherever and whenever. My pager rings 'round the clock! Say again? I was text messaging. Pull the plug, man!

Hire a lawyer - get one free! Limited time only.

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

'Stroke! ... Stroke! ... Stroke!'

A.E. Housman

'Doctor, I just can't seem to relate to my prenup anymore.'

'Michael left me because of my extreme couponing...at least I think he left me.'

"Stop the press... we've got an exclusive press release."

'How'd you wind up with two batons?'

"Oh, Oh, it looks like they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane three."

Running Stairs

'Even the photograph couldn't separate the relay teams...'

Sania Mirza

Calvin Coolidge

Relay racers passing money instead of baton.

Two men holding Olympic torches run in opposite directions

"It ain't over until NPR says it's over!"

'Let's hope it doesn't end in a photo finish.'

"Do you have to read a broadsheet tablet?"

Suits - Genuine 50% off.

"He's from PM."

"An own-goal and a rebound penalty, huh!"

Minute Steaks - Free extra 30 seconds