Relationship Transformation Pillows

"I've decided to redecorate...starting with you!"

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

'Great Therapy!'

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

Pharaoh Cocoon

"I traded his corncob pipe and his button nose for a buttoned lip, and things couldn't be better."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

Now that we've invented language, let's talk about our relationship.

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

The Map of the Human Heart

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

"You'll note that the card isn't signed so my declaration of undying love isn't legally binding!"

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

"You've changed."

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

"I wasn't expecting to be in here for so long."

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

"Why won't you cuddle?"

"Wings will be cool, I guess, but I'm mostly hoping the braces and pimples fall off."