Relationship Musers Gifts

"I have no luck with women. Am I racist for blaming someone who wasn't born here?"

In the Guru District

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

'Great Therapy!'

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

"There's something I have to tell you."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

Can we talk about our attorney-client relationship?