Relationship Journeyers Pillows

"This is my first date with a tri-sexual."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

In the Guru District

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

"Why don't you find a museum!"

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"This will be hilarious!"

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'Great Therapy!'

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

The prying mantis,

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'