Dating Journeyman Pillows

"He's the guy I'm interested in. He's just not the kind of guy I'm interested in."

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Boy, I hope we never end up like this."

"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"

'The meaning of life? sorry, I can only answer 'true or false' questions.'

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"

The perfect man

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

Filling up.

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"She said don't forget the straw."

Mate Mart

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

Russian Dating.

''Born again'? -- but I was just born five years ago!'

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

Borrow the Bag?

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

'When I said we should see other people, I didn't mean starting tonight.'

'My mother always told me if it ain't broke, date it.'

"I don't feel ready to commit to a cacoon, either, but do you ever worry we'll wake up one day and be forty and still caterpillars?"

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

"Is that 'good reptilian' or 'bad reptilian'?"

"That's the worst pickup line I've ever heard!"