Dating Journeyman Pillows

"He's the guy I'm interested in. He's just not the kind of guy I'm interested in."

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Boy, I hope we never end up like this."

"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"

'The meaning of life? sorry, I can only answer 'true or false' questions.'

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

"The cheek of him! At the end of the first date, he wanted me to go to his home to roost!"

The perfect man

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

"The worst thing about having aliens abduct you is that they say they’re going to call, but they never do."

Filling up.

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"She said don't forget the straw."

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

"As slim as your chances are for salvation, it's nice to see you keep trying."

''Born again'? -- but I was just born five years ago!'

Russian Dating.

Mate Mart

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

"I don't feel ready to commit to a cacoon, either, but do you ever worry we'll wake up one day and be forty and still caterpillars?"

'When I said we should see other people, I didn't mean starting tonight.'

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

'My mother always told me if it ain't broke, date it.'

"Is that 'good reptilian' or 'bad reptilian'?"

Borrow the Bag?

"That's the worst pickup line I've ever heard!"