Relationship Journeyers T-Shirts

"This is my first date with a tri-sexual."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

In the Guru District

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

"Why don't you find a museum!"

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

"This will be hilarious!"

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

The prying mantis,

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'Great Therapy!'

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."