Relationship Humor Appreciator Pillows

'When are you going to clean out this closet?'

"Sometime Fred, I don't think you listen to a word I say."

Beware of the PMS.

'Our line is dead. Sometimes my old boyfriend goes off his medication.'

"The best things in life are free. The rest are married."

Hypnotizing Women

'My dear, we were made for each other. You need my money and I need your kidney.'

'He's always doing something to annoy me - like breathing.'

-and you never harass me now like you did when I was your secretary!

"I'm sorry for doubting you. I guess I can shop by myself."

"Gotta go, Lou, I'm pretty sure the wife was getting a Brazilian for me."

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

'This thing between us two is not going to work...you get the picture?'

-and which one's your bird?

'You want a divorce? C'mon, Eddy! You knew that I was a dragon long before we got married!'

'Give me a break will you? I have only a few days to live anyway...'

'What really irritates me about you is the way you always leave the toilet seat up1!'

"Let's go for the four-slot toaster."

'Why do I go out with a short, fat, bald guy like you? Well for one thing, you make me look good.'

'Where does the man wear his ring - why, under the thumb, silly!'

'She's sex mad - gets mad if I want it!'

"You should meet my wife. You'd like her."

"We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone."

"Every time I start to get close to a woman an alarm goes off in my head."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."