Relationship Contemplator Gifts

'All the girls say the same thing. You're a sweet guy, but...'

'I used to get ecstatic whenever I saw him. Now it's more like ecstatic cling.'

A couple dressed as a knife and fork

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

Layer cake

'I'm not afraid of commitment, but forever is a really long time.'

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

The Wishing Well

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

Meaningful...Meaningless relationships.

Free love

"Have you seen my wife?"

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

"If you were the only man in the world, and I were the only woman. . . would we still have to diet?"

"Oh Adam. This is the second...sorry, I mean third happiest day of my life."

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

Caterpillar Paranoia

'What I especially like about being a philosopher-scientist is that I don't have to get my hands dirty.'

Beware of a first kiss that speaks volumes.

'I really like him but I can't bear waiting for THE LUNGE'

"Well, we can eat out, order in, or just sit here and let our bodies slowly gnaw away at our muscle tissue."

"I'm giving love one more try."

"I'm afraid it's 'I do' ... not 'Undo'."

"I find it hard to perform in these market conditions."

'Look, it's nothing to be ashamed of. We chose to get married before living together.'

Man reading magazine: 'International Procrastinator.'

"I forget - are we a species that mates for life?"

"I don't feel we've known each other long enough to sit in a booth."

"Do you ever think of getting married?"

Daisy Bates and Harry Morant.

"Apropo of nothing, would you still love me if I were a sausage?"

'The night sky is forever shifting and changing, much like my interest in girls.'