Relationship Comics Pillows

"Oh, my arthurs a breeder too, contempt mainly!"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

WHIRLWIND COURTSHIP

"It's my autobiography. I call it, 'I Married Her For Her Money, And Other Gross Miscalculations'."

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

'I just want to be sure to get this right. You met again your imaginary childhood friend and then happened WHAT?'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

'Actually thursday'll be a perfect time to come by Penny. That way you'll finally get the chance to meet my other half.'

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

"This is a good start! You both agree that the marriage needs some new spark!"

"Can I start you all off with my cheesy alimony saga?"

'I know we're supposed to be Lovebirds, but a bit of privacy from time to time would be nice...'

"Of course you don't look anything like your reflection in the mirror."

'I don't like the look of yours...'

"You mean the rumours she dated a Flamingo are true?"

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

I've been trying to cut back on my salt intake. I'd also like to do that, but unfortunately, my main source of salt comes from tears streaming into my mouth.

"If you two lovebirds could wrap it up I'd like to pee there please and thank you."

"I picked him up cheap on eBay."

I was expecting something else when you said nuptial agreement!

"I dumped my stable companion, he was seeing another pony!"

“It’s 2025 Roger, I didn’t think I’d still be seeing the lockdown beard..”

'And I thought I was leaving you.'

'Oh, pretty good. At least I'm not hearing voices telling me what to do anymore. . . got fired and divorced.'

'My wife thinks it was a cheap, sordid affair, but she's wrong. The motel cost me fifty dollars and I spent another twenty on the vibrating bed!'

"Open marriage? All right, open marriage it is!"

"I should let you know, you accidentally forwarded THAT mail to me."

'Sorry, dear, but upon advice from my attorney, I decline to give you an opinion on your Creamed Tarragon Flounder.'

"We did it—nice work today." "Thanks. I look forward to hearing from you soon."

'Simon! No! We really were just fooling around!'